My Eternity
by LostWithinTheLyrics
Summary: Kyoko (Mirror) is immortal and believes the gods have forsaken her very existence since birth. What happens when she meets two very different men who are also immortal?
1. Chapter 1

I sense their chakra long before they come into view, giving me time to rise from my crouch beside the large oak tree I was using for shelter. The peasant looking man they are chasing enters the clearing in a full out sprint, turning his balding head to glance behind him quickly a look of pure terror twisting his, middle aged features. He is halfway across the field when he trips up in surprise as he notices me. I gather from his expression that I must look a strange sight; a darkly clothed young woman standing alone in the woods at the dead of night drenched thoroughly from the heavy rain and clutching a small, glinting dagger in her hand would probably make any man think he was seeing things.

Of course the old slightly rusted dagger was only for picking herbs and wouldn't really do much damage in a fight but the weapon still seemed to bring him pause. The man and I both turn to look at his pursuers as we hear them step out of the treeline.

Both men are easily taller than me by, at the very least, a foot and are notably dressed in the same black cloak with red clouds. I look to the taller of the two first, instantly memorizing his pupil-less green eyes, masked mouth and his crossed out Waterfall village forehead protector, before glancing at his partner. This man's most prominent feature is his slicked back, not white or gray but actually silver hair, his eyes are a deep magenta and his robe is unbuttoned to display his chest where lies a small shining silver pendant I've never seen before, resting around his neck is his Hot Water village forehead protector.

"Please, you're a ninja right? You must help me, they mean to kill me!" The balding man throws himself to his knees in front of me drawing my full attention away from the cloud-cloaked ninjas. I force my expression to stay neutral but I feel absolutely disgusted at his pathetic groveling. He even has the gall to reach for my leg to continue his begging, my response is nearly automatic as I jam my knee into his face sending him sprawling a few feet away. He clutches his bleeding nose with a scream. I move my soaked but always disheveled hair from my eyes with a flippant toss of my head, it falls easily back in my face not a second later refusing to cooperate as per normal.

The silver haired ninja barks out a loud laugh, his face brightening in genuine delight at the groaning man's pain. His tall partner is inspecting me closely, hiding his surprise at such a callus move from a woman.

"That'll teach you to run from us "Lord" Mezuki, you good for fucking nothing, waste of space bastard. Kick him again, woman!" The silver haired ninja encourages me while he adjusts the wicked three-bladed scythe on his shoulder, his large grin is sadistic and eyes wild. I give the now named man in front of me a repulsed glare.

'So this is the man that has been causing such a stir in these lands by starving and murdering his people for his own malicious self gain.' I think and I grip the knife in my hand tighter suddenly feeling very retributional. "Yeah, I'll help you." The man's eyes light up in disbelief and hope just before I slit his jugular. The man is dead instantly because I was precise in my aim for his vitals but I listen as the air mixes with his blood in loud gurgling sounds and watch the life drain from his eyes until they're dull.

"Why tell him you were going to help him, if you were just gunna kill him?" I look to the tall masked man and see he is giving me a curious glare as he breaks the silent moment with his deep voice.

"I did help him. I helped him leave this world far quicker than your companion would have I'm guessing. It's far more than he deserved and he should be grateful to me as he suffers eternally in the pits of hell." I emphasize "hell" by kicking his ribs in, and nod with satisfaction as I hear a bone break and his body rolls away from me across the grass, head at a sickening angle.

"It's not every day people come this deep into the forest, ninjas chasing lowlifes into my backyard are even rarer. I'm curious why were chasing him? Are you that righteous?" I hum in thought for an idle second not giving them a chance to respond. "Hmm, no you don't exactly seem to me like the types to reign down vigilantly justice in the name of the common folk. You must be bounty hunters then, am I right?"

"Correct, so we'll be taking his head now." I nod and quickly stooped low to pluck the gold ring from the dead guys still warm hand as the men began to approach to collect the body. I feel both sets of eyes watching me as I pocket the tiny momento.

"Think of it as my cut of the bounty I'm not asking you to split with me," I answer the unspoken question in the taller ninjas eyes, giving him a wink and a toothy smirk. I hear him grunt in response clearly not liking my action but not saying anything as he crouches down next to the body. Pulling a kunai out of his cloak, he rolls his sleeves above his wrists to avoid the blood that pours from his finishing the decapitation I had started. I notice with curiosity the black stitches the appear in the same spot on both forearms, as a healer I scan instantly for signs of infection but the skins not even so much as discolored red with irritation. The stitches are perfectly straight and clean but I can tell they're old, 'why is he still wearing stitches on a wound that's clearly healed?'

I take a step toward him without thinking, reaching out for his arm so I can examine it more closely. He pauses his work on the guys spinal cord to watch me. He doesn't even flinch as I take his surprisingly warm hand in mine turning it palm side up, I boldy graze my fingertips across his unusual veins which are black instead of blue and seem to be moving, not pulsing, beneath his otherwise smooth tanned skin. My fingers continue up his arm to the stitches, the work is flawless but the material is slightly frayed from age, bemused I realize he must have done them himself. I snap out of my musings as his bicep contracts under my touch, I raise my eyes to his taking in his guarded expression and tense posture. I let go of the limb and watching as it falls to his side and step out from his personal space. I shrug off both men's suspicious glares.

"Sorry, medical instinct and morbid curiosity are a terrible combination sometimes." I glance to the trees just so I have an excuse not to look at them for a second.

"Sooo, you're a healer or some shit like that?" I look at the silver haired one and nod.

"The villagers in the town just east of here seem to think so." I answer vaguely with a one shoulder shrug. Seemingly satisfied with my medical background he begins to pull open his cloak further revealing his toned stomach I set my focus on the bloody, half stitched stab wound that appears just above his left hip. I glance to the masked man wondering why it was only half stitched before I look harder at the fist-sized hole in the silver haired man's gut and notice the blood is slightly discolored and a strange ooze is seeping out alongside it. 'Poison, that's why it's only half treated; to slow the blood flow so he doesn't bleed out and so the poison doesn't flood his system. quick thinking on his friends part.'

"How long ago were you poisoned," I look for signs of distress in his body language; sweating, erratic breathing, fever anything but he looks fine.

"Maybe two hours ago, damn bastard's bodyguard got in a lucky shot," My eyes widen in disbelief. 'Two hours with a poison in his system, one that was probably meant to kill him... and he's only complaining about how he got it, who is this guy?'

"I see," I chew on my bottom lip as I settle on my knees in front of him, I take his wrist in my hand absently finding his pulse. 'His pulse is normal it's as if his body doesn't even know he's injured' I reject the thought that this is a new type of poison I've never seen before because as I pinch it between my fingers and bring it to my nose to smell, I instantly know its burnlock poison by how my fingers feel like I've burned myself. Produced from a rare and expensive plant from out of this region, burnlock is suppose to be an extremely painful but quick death.

'So how is he pain free and still alive?' I wonder and look at the man's face in amazement.

"What's that look for?" I poke the edge of his wound experimentally, careful so I don't get more poison on my bare hand, "Ouch! What the fuck are you doing, bitch?" Okay at least I know his nerves aren't damaged.

"Nothing I'm just wondering what you'd like me to do for you." His face screws up in confusion. "By all rights you should be dead and if not dead then nearly so and incoherent with pain, I'm telling you now; there's no cure for this poison because no one has ever lasted long enough for one to work. If you weren't lying about it being two hours since you were hurt then somehow you are immune to burnlock poisoning, which is impossible because it works by attacking nearly every system in the body and you wouldn't be alive anyway if you didn't have the same bodily systems as everyone else. Or..." I pause and fall into my silent thoughts.

"Or?" The masks man prompts me to continue my thoughts aloud.

"Well his body is not reacting as if it's in any pain or stress at all and I'm wondering, since he can't possibly be immune to how the poison works, maybe his body just completely ignored the poisons effects and when his body should have succumbed to death it.. just... didn't. But then that would mean..."

"That I'm immortal, yeah we already know that. You asked me what I wanted you to do well, just get this poisonous, oozing shit out of me and seal me up so me and Kakuzu can get the fuck out of here!" I analyze this new information in stunned silence, before turning to eye Kakuzu as I put name to face for the first time. He nods at me, his green eyes boring into my face intensely, as if by looking at him I was asking his permission to seal up his friend. Neither of them are in anyway shocked by this turn of events as I am so I decide to think over the fact that I just learned this guy is also an immortal later when I'm alone again.

I move my hands to rest just above the flesh of his injury and channel my chakra into him to force the poison, infection and anything else unwanted out of his body, it all falls to the ground in a slimy pile of white pus, red blood and clear poisonous liquid. I do a double check to make sure I got it all before picturing in my head his wound knitting together. I take a look at my finished work and smile as not even a faint scar remains behind. I run my hand over the now slightly pink skin and I feel his stomach muscles clench tight at my soft caress, and I'm woman enough to know why as I hear his sharp intake of breath, and feel his hand suddenly on mine grasping hard and holding it still.

I know most of his reaction is coming from the dopamine that was released when my chakra healed him but I like how his eyes have quickly darkened with lust. Both of us quickly turn to Kakuzu as he shoves the now fully severed head into a white sack that bleeds red almost instantly. I tug my hand gently asking for it back without looking at him, his grip tightens before he lets go completely and I rise from my place on the ground backing up a few feet.

I glance at the sky and see dawn is nearing, I sigh and mentally count that it's been four days since I've gotten any sleep I glance to the two men out of the corner of my mind who seem to be having a quiet argument, 'at least tonight wasn't boring'. I gather the knife I dropped before and find the herbs I had been gathering before everything started, they continued to argue as they watch me retrieve my things. I don't eavesdrop despite my curiosity, I watch as Kakuzu is the first to turn his back and walk away, the other man sneers at his back seemingly upset.

"Hidan, move your ass,"

"Fuck you, you don't tell me what to fucking do!" Hidan yells and doesn't seem to notice he's already following Kakuzu's order.

'Kakuzu the mysterious and Hidan the immortal, I don't think I'll be quick to forget you two,' I stare after their retreating forms knowing I might never see them again.


	2. Chapter 2

Four Months Later

I haven't slept in twelve days, I haven't been able to stomach anything in ten. I can recognize what's wrong with me from a medical standpoint, but unfortunately knowing the definition of depression doesn't stop you from feeling its effects. Now the insomnia is nothing new to me and skipping meals isn't either, I've even hallucinated before but I've always recovered after a few days maybe a week max. I mean there's only so much wallowing in self pity one can take before they either pick themselves off the floor or give up completely, and I don't have the second option.

So when I finally feel the need to leave my house after almost two weeks, I don't care that I'm so weak I can't hold myself up properly, or that I can't walk in a straight line because I'm so dizzy and lightheaded. I forge a path in determination, I don't even care where I'm going as I walk into the woods, and I keep walking till I collapse from exhaustion beneath a tall oak tree. I'm too late in realizing that it's pouring rain and I'm already soaked to the bone. I have the instinct inside me telling me I should feel afraid, that no one could survive the conditions I'm in much longer, but even under these dire circumstances I have the knowledge that I'll live through this.

My mind makes a last ditch effort to comfort me as I linger on deaths doorstep, by remembering that night four months ago. I don't know why that night meeting Kakuzu and Hidan even comes to mind, it's not really a happy memory but I guess as far as reminiscing goes it could be much worse. In the far reaches of my mind I lose the ability to determine what's memory and what's hallucination.

As they step out of the forest, their eyes are already on me, I can't make out their expression because my eyes are blurring in and out of focus, but I see them walking toward me, or are they running? I can't tell and I try to shake off the confusion but then the world is spinning so fast and I loose sight of them completely.

Kakuzu's POV

Hidan's near constant bitching is gnawing on my last nerve as we finally make it to where we first met that strange healer girl however many months ago. I vaguely recall her saying we were in her backyard that night so finding her house from the clearing shouldn't be too hard, and Hidan won't go to any other healer because "they don't fucking do it right".

As we near the clearing I sense her chakra signature but it's so weak compared to how it was that night and I know something isn't right. I can tell the exact moment when Hidan senses the same thing I do because he finally shuts his goddamn mouth. We exit the woods without hesitation but I don't lower my guard in case it's some sort of set up. The girl is sitting pathetically against a tree looking like a drowned rat. Hidan and I walk side by side toward her and her eyes flash with recognition but something is wrong with her. Pale as fuck and even skinnier and smaller than I remember her being, her expression tightens in confusion just as she loses consciousness falling limply to the ground.

"Shit she looks like fucking death, what do you think is wrong with her?" I crouch down to inspect her closely taking her temperature with my bare hand and then her pulse. She's caked in mud from her feet to knees and fingers to elbows having clearly fallen a few times and gotten back up, her hair is matted and sticking to her forehead as she sweats even in the rain. I also notice a few cuts looking both new and old and bruises both yellow and purple scattered here and there on her poorly clothed body

"I don't know what's worse, that fact that she's burning up with fever, how her body is ice cold or how her pulse is so weak I almost didn't find it."

"Should we just leave her here then?"

"Yes, she's not our problem, Hidan," And she isn't. I know that, Hidan knows that but still neither of us turns to leave. We just stare at her as she whimpers and shivers uncontrollably and I think we're waiting to hear her last breath but even when ten minutes pass each exhale is inevitably followed by another shaky inhale. After twenty minutes the rain stops and Hidan sits down on the ground with a sigh.

"Taking her sweet fucking time, maybe I should just..." Hidan doesn't finish the sentence but I watch him tighten his one handed grip on his Scythe and move it so the highest blade is against her neck, he holds it there while he stares at her face, expression grim. I know the exact moment he realizes he can't do it when he swears violently and gets up to pace angrily. I tune him out and just watch her chest as it rises up and down subtly.

I don't understand it, I've only met this girl once, I don't even know her name, the thought of her dying right now doesn't make me feel sad in the least, 'and yet neither of us can walk away or put her out of her misery.'

Hours later Hidan and I have set up camp next to her, hoping she'll die during in the night so that we can just leave in the morning. We go about it as if she isn't even there, except when her breath hitches and we both glance at her thinking and hoping this breath is the last but it never is.

It's nearly two in the morning, and she has been getting quieter and more still as the night drags, when suddenly she jerks awake with a loud gasp. Hidan sits up instantly from where he's been trying to sleep, and our eyes meet for a split second before watching her as she cradles her head in her hands with a painful moan slightly rocking her body forwards and back.

At first I believe she hasn't noticed us but then she turns her head and takes us both in with her large green eyes, her expression somewhat lost.

"How long have I been out this time?" She croaks out then coughs, her throat and mouth too dry to speak without obvious pain. I narrow my eyes at the wording of her sentence, 'this time?'

"Better question, how are you a-fucking-live right now? " Hidan barks out, his angry expression makes her eyebrows rise in surprise. She looks away from us in favor of her raised knees, I see Hidan's on the verge of losing it as it looks like she just plain ignored his question, but then she turns to look at the fire.

"I can't die." The whisper is almost too low to hear especially over the crackling of the fire. My eyes furrow in confusion.

"What?" Hidan says, surprise in his eyes as he glances to me to see if I just heard the same thing he did.

"I can't die," she repeats a little louder avoiding looking at both of us by locking her eyes on the fire.

"Oh, we fucking heard you! We've been waiting with goddamn baited breath to watch you die already and you're telling us that you're actually immortal?" Hidan is seething at the irony and I hate and can't explain the rush of relief that sinks into me with her words. But that relief is quickly replaced by confusion.

"If you're immortal, same as us, then why were you on the brink of death?" In my peripherals I see Hidan nod at my question, also wanting to know the answer.

"Same as us? You're both immortal?" Neither of us answers her as we wait for my question to be answered first. She shakes her head slightly looking overwhelmed. I don't care and watch her face blush as she finally responds. "I just stopped caring for myself that's all."

"That's all?" I mock her. "This is just the result of a stupid girl's self neglect?" She dips her head into her chest in a half nod and looks into the darkness her expression going blank but eyes seeing something mine never will. I don't know why I hate her answer so much but I do and I can't help but glare at her from across the fire pit.

I'm still glaring at her and see the exact moment her eyes become too heavy, her head bobs and just before she's asleep her head whips up and to the side suddenly very alert.

"Friends of yours?" She whispers questioningly, confused it takes me a few seconds longer to pinpoint what she's referring to. Finally sensing the three unfamiliar chakra signatures heading straight for us, Hidan and I exchange glares silently blaming the other for not sensing the threat earlier and move closer together preparing for a fight. "Fight or flight?" She asks weirdly I give her an impatient glance.

"They're closing in too fast for us to get far enough away to avoid a fight," She's nodding as I finish my sentence, looking like she's forming a plan. Then, right before my eyes she disappears without leaving a trace, her chakra hadn't even spiked so it wasn't a jutsu I blink scanning for her but she's completely gone.

But only a few seconds pass before she appears directly in front of Hidan and I. We barely have time to register her heavy breathing before she's got one hand on each of our wrists, I make the mistake of blinking and suddenly we aren't in the clearing anymore. In fact we're not even outside, I glance around at the brightly lit interior of what must be the inside of a small cottage.

"What the fuck was that?! What did you just do?" Hidan's loud mouth beats me to the questions. The girls green hair is stuck to her face as she's bent over panting from whatever stunt she just pulled.

"Sorry I would have gotten us farther away but I'm still running on empty and I had to make sure this place was clear before bringing you here. I-" She sinks to her knees before us in clear exhaustion unable to finish whatever she was saying.

I sweep my eyes across the room noticing several medical books opened to certain pages on a small round kitchen table that's also topped with a bowl of rotted fruit, scrolls lining the walls, medical tools and even some weapons laying out here and there. Everywhere that there is space I see dried herbs and both potted and unpotted plants, absent though are any pictures or personal items that could clue a stranger in on who lives here. Though I do notice a piano tucked into the corner of the room beside an unmade bed.

"I take it this is your home?" She glancing around quickly as if she has to make sure it is, before she nods, Her breathing has calmed down finally and she seriously looks like she is about to pass out right on the floor by the way she's swaying unsteadily.

"Yeah, we're a few miles from where we just were, just a stamina-draining trick I keep up my sleeve for quick getaways." She's talking with her eyes closed and I know she's out cold seconds before her body falls limply to the floor.

"Whatever that was I guess this means we're safe for the rest of the night," Hidan toes the girls face making sure she's really out. I grunt in agreement heading to sit at the kitchen table knowing I won't be getting sleep despite how safe we might be. Hidan looks up from the girls figure and glances to the bed, at first I'm thinking he's going to move her so she's more comfortable but then he just shrugs and leaves her there, laying on the bed by himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Kyoko's POV

I become vaguely aware of Kakuzu and Hidan before I even reached full consciousness, as if my mind finds them the easiest way to kickstart into gear. I fight for control of my body and thoughts feeling like I'm moving through quicksand. I clench my eyes tight as I feel them burning, bloodshot and dry, my mouth is dry too and know my body is very dehydrated at this point. I groan as I turn onto my stomach, finding myself aching and tense from sleeping on the floor.

Hidan is watching me from my bed having obviously not cared enough to give it to me last night, and Kakuzu doesn't even look up in concern from the book in his hands as I crack my back with a very audible snap on my way to my feet. I find myself thinking about how these two must be the men that killed chivalry dead.

"Kyoko." I'm surprised Kakuzu knows my name. Was I that out of it yesterday that not only do I not remember telling him my name but that I also and more importantly didn't use an alias? I never give out my real name. My eyes narrow to the book he's thumbing through because I see he's found just one of my many medical journals in the house that bares my name in the pages. My personal medical notes from the last few weeks no less.

I think about getting upset but just sigh tiredly in defeat, 'Of course they have no sense of personal boundaries, why would they?'

"Kakuzu... sama?" I respond, unsure why I felt the need to add the respectful honorific, I mean the guy was just a bounty hunter right? Maybe I'm just too much of a push over giving respect to such a man, but it was clear he and Hidan were more powerful than me. 'Best just to keep things formal, I suppose.'

"Hidan requires your medical skills, make it quick we didn't come here to socialize." My eyes snap to Hidan unaware he was even injured at all.

"Oh yeah," I frown at him clearly he's not even in enough pain to even remember that he's hurt. When he reveals his "injury" on his right shoulder blade my frown deepens because it's already been stitched up.

"Fucking Kakuzu can stitch up any wound he goddamn wants but his work always leaves scars, you don't." He explains, I blink in surprise not expecting to hear a compliment from him at all. I can't help the blush that forms on my face as I turn to grab a sterilized knife and tweezers. Hidan doesn't move at all when I approach him, I hesitate when there isn't enough room on my small twin sized bed for me to sit beside him because of the way his knees are spread. I glance at his lap which would be the more comfortable option rather than standing over him as I work. I shrug and move to straddle his one thigh.

I start working immediately to take my mind off of the fact that this is the first man I've ever straddled. And as I work I start to realize he's slowly leaning back on his arms away from me, at first I think it's because I'm hurting him as I cut and remove the string from his skin but realize he is intentionally making me shift further up his lap for his own pleasure. I try to feel disgust as his dick twitches and hardens against my inner thigh but Hidan's not exactly an unattractive man and I can't with complete honesty admit this doesn't excite me a little.

As I finish removing the stitches and place my hands on his upper chest and shoulder to apply my chakra, I smirk and adjust my knee to lightly rub against the underside of his balls, his hands fly to my hips almost automatically as he hisses in pleasure. His eyes flash to mine but I don't look away from his shoulder, thinking belatedly that I shouldn't tease such a dangerous man, but even as I try to focus on my work, it's his thumb sliding under my shirt that has my real attention.

By the time the cut on his shoulder finally seals shut, (with no scarring at all), he has worked most of his hand under my shirt and his fingertips are just brushing the underside of my left breast. I feel the blush rise on my face and my hands are hovering hesitantly over his upper chest unsure of what to do, where to touch him. When I lose my nerve and I try to get up, the hand still on my hip tightens bruisingly, nails digging into my flesh. I gasp in pain and his mouth covers mine so hard that our teeth clink together. Instead of feeling fear I can't help but moan as his tongue slides against mine, He starts to lean back across the bed slowly and he smirks against my lips as I lean in to follow him not wanting to break the kiss. His hands move to the curve of my back sliding beneath my shorts and over to cup my ass effectively pulling me closer as he thrusts up hard into me.

I honestly never thought I'd be a woman who would like a rough, dominating man but I can't deny how turned on I am by his biting teeth against my parted lips and his callused hands against my bare skin. He doesn't even seem bothered that the only thing I'm doing is following his lead and I'm grateful he's not put off by my obvious inexperience.

I gasp in a mix of pleasure, pain and surprise as my hair is gripped by a third hand and I blush shamefully having forgotten Kakuzu has been watching us the whole time. He yanks on my hair till my back is against his front and his unmasked teeth nip at my rapid pulse before sucking on it. Hidan follows my body up, seemingly unfazed by the addition of his partner, and moves his attention easily from my mouth to my chest, quickly ripping my shirt in half leaving my breasts exposed to his face.

Trapped between both men, I'm really at a loss of what to do. With Hidan thrusting his hips into mine and Kakuzu grinding his hips against my ass, I don't know whose attention to focus on. Hidan's mouth finds my nipple and my breasts arch into his face. A second after Kakuzu's arm curls around my stomach, hand lowering over my shorts his large palm brushes my clothed core. I gasp very nearly coming undone already and I squirm against them both. A knock on the door doesn't faze either man, they just continue their administrations as if nothing happened.

"My lady, are you home?" A woman's voice sounds from the other side of the door, I don't recognize it. Hidan's hand leaves my breast to cover my mouth silently telling me not to respond before his hand moves down to my neck squeezing threateningly in a clear warning. A thrill shudders through me and a whimper comes out without warning. Kakuzu's hand connects with my ass in swift punishment, the offended cheek stings but I bite my lip to keep from making anymore sound.

The woman proves herself overly persistent as she tries the doorknob and all three of us freeze as the door actually opens a crack, a dark, long haired head pops into sight and I wriggle free from both men's clutches. My face burns with humiliation as I watch the woman's expression change from curious to shocked, she stutters an apology and then just stares.

"What the fuck do you want, woman? Spit it out already, we're fucking busy!"

"Oh! Right! My lady, it's Higurashi, she's in labor and it's not going well. Please you have to-" Now I don't know who the hell "Higurashi" is but I instantly find relief from my embarrassment as my mind switches into medic mode. I find a shirt lying on the floor and throw it on grabbing what I'll need for a birthing and I slam the door behind me without so much as glancing at Hidan and Kakuzu's sexually frustrated and pissed expressions.

* * *

I don't think there is anything more sobering than a difficult birthing. After arriving it only took a few minutes to realize the mother wouldn't survive, and after telling the father this, he left the room and didn't come back, I was left to sit with a wriggling baby boy in my bloody arms having had to remove him by C-section. His mother's corpse lying not feet from us, I couldn't help the pity that overtook me knowing the child's life would begin without a mother's love or even his father's acceptance.

I didn't even notice the hours that passed as I just held that boy in my arms, but I didn't hesitate to hand him over to the people who would be able to take better care of him than I ever could. I followed them out of the house and watched them take the baby into the cool night air and off to the orphanage without even asking for his name.

I returned home both pleased and oddly sad that Hidan and Kakuzu were long gone. I didn't cry that night as I lay in bed but after having held that boy in my arms and being touched by both men so intimately in that same day I couldn't stop myself from feeling lonelier than I've ever felt in all my years.

I don't pretend to know love, what it's like to give or receive it. I don't remember my family enough to have the slightest idea how to even begin to love. I see the emotion love all the time; lovers gazing in each others eyes, a mother and father caring for their children, even friends as they play in the streets. But observing love is easier than understanding it and I've always felt like it wasn't necessary for me. As I lay in bed though I can't help but hope that the little boy will know love despite what's happened to him already. I sigh and roll on my side, picturing his dark hair and gray eyes and remembering his tiny squirming body that fit in my two hands easily, and I fall asleep with a smile.


End file.
